The Older That I Get, The Less That I Regret


I’m gonna be honest here. If I were to go back to May 25, 2013, there are a lot of things that I would want to change and would have done differently. Some of them are – I should’ve really prepared for the Meet & Greet, I should’ve went backstage after Adub’s set, I should’ve really looked for merch, and more. Aside from this, I’m gonna confess that I temporarily felt jealous of other fans. I guess this is normal for fangirls, right? Like when others got their CDs signed, got to meet some members backstage, got certain moments with other band dudes, etc. I even got pissed of because I didn’t see the other merch. Yes, temporary. Why? I am overflowing with happiness. I’m just too happy that I got the chance to meet and see Allstar Weekend for the first and last time.

But I think another reason is I think that I’ve also grown as a person. I mean, if I were the old me, I’d go hating on people. But right now I’m not hating on anyone. Maybe partly because all these people that got lucky are my friends too. And it’s just that I keep on focusing on the positive things that happened, without even trying! And I’m really happy that this is how I am responding to the events.

I’m just SO happy right now that I can’t stop saying it. Thank you also to my friends who supported my Adub craziness, and to the new friends that I made, I love you guys! I hope get to hangout soon!

I expected that Circuit Fest will give me the worst PCD ever. But I think I’m wrong? The next day after the show, I don’t feel any pain. As I said, happiness is what I almost purely feel. Even now that it’s been a few days after the show, I’m not feeling depressed. Although I do feel a bit (just a bit) sad sometimes. But what I can tell you is that I couldn’t stop daydreaming about that night. I’m turning all my should’ve-been’s into daydreams. And all I feel is pure bliss. Also, I was thinking that maybe the reason I don’t have PCD right now is because when CF was announced, I knew beforehand that it’ll be the last time that I’ll see Adub, so it’s like I already accepted that fact in the beginning.

I also want to add that what FTSK’s Jonathan Cook said during one of the LIV5 shows (Feb 2012) really had an impact on me. He said “I want you to leave this place with no regrets.” After hearing that, things have been a bit different for me. I mean before, I would always get depressed after concerts because of (my own reasons). But now I’m all good 🙂

Blog Title inspired by the song: Amy by Allstar Weekend


About Thea Gertrude

Fangirl who loves to travel

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